'Say you will stay with me through the good and the bad. This love for you I wish I never had; I've never…'

"Hey Andy, what are you writing?" Jinxx's voice chimes in out of nowhere, breaking my concentration.
"Nothing." I slammed the notebook shut and threw it to the other end of the small couch at the front of our tour bus.
"Doesn't seem like nothing to me. Is it song lyrics?" He asked looking down at me.
"I guess you could say that." I trailed off. Jinxx walked away, I assume it's because he got bored. He's such an energetic person; the only other person who can match his energy is Sammi, his girlfriend (or in some cases CC, our drummer). I ran a hand through my hair and let out a deep sigh. This tour bus was starting to get really boring.
Jake and CC were sitting on the other couch across from me looking through some equipment catalog, marking some stuff that they wanted to buy when we were off this tour. Jinxx was flipping through the channels on the TV and stopped when he got to some cartoon about a talking puppy that was a spy or some shit. The only person that I wanted to be in the room right now wasn't. Ashley was off in the back on his phone talking to Jesse, his girlfriend. Yeah, Ash had a girlfriend. Her name is Jessie, a girl that works at a Hot Topic in our home town. She was nice to everyone in the band but me.
Speak of the devil, Ash walks into the room with a very upset look on his face. He came and sat next to me and laid his head on my lap.
"What's up with you?" Jake asked when Ash let out a loud huff.
"Jess and I broke up." He said rolling over to look at Jake. "Just because I didn't tell her that we were going on tour again. She thinks I'm gonna cheat on her."
I started to run my fingers through Ashley's raven black hair; it was soft under my fingertips. I don't really know how to explain how I feel about him. It's kind of complicated. Ashley is my best friend; I love everyone in our band, but none more than Ashley. Like I said, I don't know how to explain what I feel for him. Whenever he comes near me my heart starts to race, my palms get sweaty and I have this tendency to stutter a lot.
"It's not the end of the world dude." CC said putting the catalog on the arm of the couch.
"I know it's not the end of the world." He sighed again and rolled over to face me, but his eyes were closed. "I kinda liked Jess. I mean she was pretty and a really nice girl."
"Yeah, to you." I said softly. Ash's eyes snapped open.
"What?" He asked me in disbelief.
"Nothing." I said rolling my eyes. He looked up at me with an unreadable expression on his face. I just looked out the window and watched the passing scenes as we drove through Los Angeles. The others continued their conversation, Ashley still lying in my lap, but I just ignored it, idly stroking his hair. I don't understand this feeling I have for you Ash, but maybe it could be love. No. No, that's crazy. There's no way I could possibly have fallen in love with Ash. I mean, we're both guys. Two guys falling in love with each other is just… Wrong.
I pushed Ash off my lap and walked over to our small bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. I hadn't gotten any sleep lately due to the fact that I'm still getting over a cold so I had these weird dark circles under my eyes (I should probably take a nap). The skin around my lip ring was bright red from biting it all the time (something I do when I'm nervous or anxious). My face had gotten skinnier along with the rest of my pale body. I don't eat much, adding on being sick and eating less, I probably lost about 10 lbs.
I left the bathroom and walked into the bunk area. Everyone was making a lot of noise in the front room so I grabbed my iPod from my bag before I climbed into my bunk and pulled my curtain shut. I put in my headphones and started to scroll through my music, trying to find something that I could sleep through. I decided to listen to D.R.U.G.S, the band of my older friend Matt Good.
Slowly I started to feel a heaviness overcome me.
"Andy." I hear a voice calling to me. I open my eyes. Somehow I'm back in my apartment, lying in my bed. It was dark, but I could still hear this voice calling my name over and over again. "Andy. Andy. Andy." And it was getting progressively louder. The door in front of me slowly started to open. A figure walked through the doorway and stopped at the foot of the bed. I reached over to turn on the lamp on the night stand to see Ashley standing over me without any cloths on.
"Andy." He let out in a dark voice with a smirk on his face. I swallowed deeply and sat up all the way.
"Um… Ash, are you OK? Why are you in my room naked?" I asked letting my eyes wander down his body. Tan, muscular, but not very, his 'OUTLAW' tattoo arching perfectly on his stomach. I glanced down at his; uh… area for just a second, but immediately lifted my eyes back to his face. He wasn't wearing any makeup and he had just washed his hair. I swallowed again because I really wanted him at that moment.
"Andy." He said again. What's with the broken record bit? It was getting annoying. He climbed into the bed and crawled on top of me. "Andy, I want you; right now." He said. Oh look, something other than my name now huh? I looked into his eyes, such a beautiful shade of dark brown. I don't know why I did what I did next, but I connected our lips. It was weird, because I couldn't feel anything, but I didn't want what was happening to stop. Ashley parted his mouth, but I still couldn't feel anything, I couldn't taste anything. I wanted so bad to feel him moving under me, to taste him, but I couldn't. I started to cry.
"What's wrong Andy? Is it me? Do you not want me?" He asked wiping away one of my tears.
"No, that's not the problem. I really do want you, but I… I can't feel anything. I want to feel you, to taste you, to touch you, but I can't. Why can't I?" I asked crying more. Ash crawled under the cover with me and held me as I cried into his bare chest. I still couldn't feel anything. But after a while, I started to feel the warmth of his arms wrapped around me.
"Are you feeling better Andy?" he asked me. I nodded my head. He placed a kiss on my forehead and I could actually feel it. It was warm, a little wet, but warm. My tears stopped falling as violently as they were and I fell asleep cuddled into him.
Sadly, I knew it was a dream. The bus hit a bump in the road and I hit the wall of my bunk. I woke up, pillow soaked with tears. I was actually crying. Deep down I knew it was all a dream. Ash wouldn't say things like that to me. I started coughing again, it wasn't all that loud, but someone started to open the curtain to my bunk.
"Andy, are you OK?" Ash's voice called to me as the curtain pulled open all the way.
"Yeah I'm fine, just still knocking out this cold." I said looking down and away from him.
"Good. You were crying in your sleep earlier. I tried to wake you up, but you wouldn't move. Either way, I'm glad you're OK." He said kissing my forehead. It was real. I know it was real. I smiled and looked away again.
"What's all this?" He asked with a chuckle.
"Just a thought, but I'm glad that you care about me." I hugged him and pulled him into my bunk.
"Hey, let me go!" He laughed.
"I don't think so." I laughed giving him a noogie. We played around like that for a good ten minutes; we stopped after Ash started tickling me and forcing me to say uncle. It was fun when we played around like this. It reminded me of our friendship that wouldn't end. It would last forever.
 

Chapter 1: Surprise

"Andy! Wake up! You're gonna miss the bus!" My Mom called up to me. Shit! I looked at the clock on my cell phone. 6:30 AM; my bus doesn't come for another hour and a half.
"Mom, did you change the clocks for daylight savings?!" I called back down to her.
"Oops! Sorry." Mom laughed. "Get up anyway!" I let out a groan and got out of my bed, walking into the bathroom. I took a second to look at myself in the mirror; pale skin, lip ring, medium length thick black hair that stopped on my shoulders with one blond streak running from the top near my bangs to the bottom of my hair. I wasn't much to look at, but some girls at my school would hit on me a lot. I honestly don't see what they see.
I turned on the shower and got in, letting the warm water wash over me. It was nice. When I was finally done with the washing, shaving, and drying off, I started getting dressed. Just like every day I would just slip on a pair of black skinny jeans then put on my shoes. After that I shift through my piles of black band t-shirts and try to pick a good one.
I settled with an old Iron Maiden shirt that used to belong to my Dad back in his metal head days. It was way too big for me, so I pulled the extra back into a rubber band. I walked back into the bathroom and started putting on my eyeliner. The colors of my shirt had to match my eye shadow, so I went for a blood red fading into black type look. I was good with makeup. Mom taught me how to do it in middle school when I asked her to start buying it for me. She didn't question it much, Dad though, he freaked out, but accepted it eventually. After I finished off adding my ruby red lipstick, I started walking down the stairs to breakfast.
"There he is; Happy Birthday Andy!" My Mom yelled while my dad pulled out my chair for me to sit down. I had completely forgotten that today was my 18th birthday. Mom had this really big grin on her face and Dad had disappeared around a corner somewhere.
"Now Andy, your Dad and I have two surprises today for your birthday, one now, the other when we get home." Mom said, catching my attention again. Dad reappeared with a small box in his hand.
"We want you to know, with this present, that we trust you not to do anything we wouldn't do." Dad said handing me the box. I opened the box slowly and inside was a pair of shiny key.
"You guys didn't…" I trailed away. It couldn't have been what I thought it was.
"Go outside and look if you don't believe us." Mom smiled. I walked out the front door and there, parked out front was a black 2006 PT Cruiser. I've always wanted one of these cars because they look like hearses.
I ran over to it and unlocked the driver's side door, climbing behind the wheel. I was so excited. I got out and locked it, running up to my Mom and Dad and hugging them tight.
"Thanks so much you guys!"
"You're welcome Andy. Now remember what we said. Don't do anything we wouldn't do in this car." Dad laughed.
"I won't." I smiled at him. I loved my parents, and they loved me, but I wondered whether or not today would be a good day to tell them, maybe later on tonight. "I'm gonna go call Ash, OK?" I said walking up to my room. My phone was still sitting on my night stand, so I picked it up and dialed Ash's number.
"Hello?" He sighed into the phone. I woke him up. Damn.
"Did I wake you? I'm sorry." I could feel my face heating up again. Why did I feel this way only with him? Why did he make me like this?
"Well, I was enjoying a nice dream, until I heard my phone go off and I jumped clear out of my skin." He laughed. Just hearing his voice made me want to be with him. I needed to be next to him.
"Like I said, sorry. But anyway, guess what my parents got me!" I beamed.
"What?"
"They bought me a car." I almost squealed into the phone. Ash made me like this, whenever I talked to him. I always got a little too over excited about everything.
"That's awesome. I've got your present right here in a bag next to me."
"Do you want me to pick you up or not?" I smiled, finally starting to calm down.
"Yeah. Be here in about 20?" He asked. I could tell he was in his bathroom now because of the echo.
"Yeah. See ya." I hung up the phone and lay back on my bead, squealing for a second. He remembered my birthday. He bought me a present! OK, OK, calm down Andy. It's not that big a deal, except that you've had a crush on Ashley Purdy for what, four years? Now it's your senior year, you're both eighteen, and you could do things to him.
I let out another squeal and looked at the clock again. It was almost time to go pick up Ashley. I grabbed my back pack and phone. Mom and Dad were in their room getting ready to go off to work.
"Bye guys!" I called outside their door.
"Bye Andy! Don't forget to come home right after school, OK?!" Mom called back.
"I promise!" I quickly ran down the stairs and behind the wheel of my new car. It took a good ten minutes to drive to Ashley's house. He was waiting outside the gate of his house. I honked the horn and pulled up to him, rolling down the window.
"Hey sexy." I laughed. I meant what I said, but Ash always took what I said as a joke. He was like that. He didn't know either. Maybe I should tell him too.
"Sweet ride Andy. Your parents bought you the car you wanted." He smiled when he climbed into the car. He always wore basically the same thing. Leather jacket, black t-shirt, black skinny jeans and cowboy boots and chains hanging off his pants that cling together when he walked; he had a star chain around his neck today, that was new. His makeup was the same as everyday too, black eye shadow and eye liner with a fake cheekbone mole. It was simple, but it still looked good on him.
"Oh yeah, before I forget, here." He handed me the black bag that was in his hand. It was somewhat of a big bag. "It was the best I could do with the money I had."
"What's in it?" I asked looking over at him. He had this smile on his face, but didn't look up at me. I opened the bag slowly and found a koala dressed like Batman. It was so cute. "You know me so well." I smiled over at him.
"Yeah. I know." He laughed. I wrapped my arms around him. I didn't want to ever let him go. "I'm glad you like your present Andy." I pulled away from him, our faces just a few inches away. I could kiss him. Right now I could kiss him. Should I? No. No I shouldn't.
"Andy, look in his pouch." Ashley smiled. I let him go and looked into the koala's pouch. There were 4 slips of paper in there. One of them said 'Slave for a Day' and the others were 'IOU $20', 'IOU 1 Hug', and 'IOU Whatever You Want. No Matter What' and they all had his signature on the bottom. "They are redeemable anytime. No matter what mood I'm in." He smiled. I handed him the 'IOU 1 Hug' one.
"I want this one now." He leaned in and hugged me tight.
"The best part about these is whatever ones you use, you get them back on your next birthday." He smiled when he let me go. I couldn't help but smell him before he pulled away. It was intoxicating, his perfume. See, Ash wasn't like the other guys at our school. He wore perfume all the time. He preferred flower scents, but today he smelled like cherries, my favorite.
"I love your smell today Ash." I said pulling away from his house and heading towards the school with Bat Koala in my lap.
"Yeah. I remembered you telling me you liked cherries, so I decided to put it on for your birthday."
I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to press my lips against him and never let him go. But I couldn't. Because Ash wasn't mine, he wasn't like that.  We passed the rest of the car ride with Ashley talking about some girl that he started to like. It hurt when he talked like that.
"What about you Andy?" He asked when we stopped at a red light.
"What?" I said glancing over at him.
"Do you like anyone?" He had this curious look on his face.
"Well I uh…" Now isn't the time Andy.
"You do! Tell me about her!" Ash smiled.
"Well, she's really pretty and I uh…" I couldn't think of anything. "She loves the same music that I do. We have a lot in common actually, even our favorite foods. She even has the same dreams as me. We both want to be rock stars." I started to turn a deep shade of red, because this she wasn't a she at all. It was actually a he. And that he was sitting right next to me.
"She sounds great Andy. What's her name?" He asked. Shit. Think of something quick. Wait, what's the name of that story we red in English class a while ago? Romeo and-
"Juliet." I said softly as I pulled into the parking lot of our school.
"Juliet huh? Does she go to our school?" he asked.
"No. I met her off the internet." I pulled the car into a space and killed the engine.
"Be careful Andy. You never know what kind of weirdo's you find on the internet." He laughed. I faked a smile then climbed out of the car, leaving Bat Koala in the back seat. "Wait, aren't you gonna take him with you?" Ash asked.
"Do you want him to get dirty, or stolen?" I asked locking the doors.
"Guess not."
"Good." I slung my backpack over my shoulder and Ash and I walked into the school.